Life in the fab lane

i'll make this a short and sweet post
i have pics to upload but i shall keep it for another day
i'm seriously not in the mood for anything
and i am feeling very very exhuasted..

plus i have to go to training at 6.30 tomorrow
and i have ppl harrassing me at this moment.. argh... get a life..

i've decided
maybe i should start keeping more of a low profile
even though i admit i am a self centered attention craving bitch
who really enjoys being in the lime light

there is a consiquence for being too high profiled
everyone knows everything about you
where you went
what you did
Who you did
and when you did it..

everyone expects you to be perfect
everyone expects you to live up to their expectations
everyone forgets that once you in a while you do want privacy
everyone forgets that you are only human and you do make mistakes

its not an easy life
especially since i was borned into "attention"
in every aspect of my life
if there was a newspaper
i would be front page

and then you'd meet people who would do anything with you just to be noticed
do anything to take your place
and would do anything to spoil your reputation

seriously, i have no reputation really
i lead a double life
i have the people who look at me as the
perfect angel glamorous rich bitch
and then others who see me as
wild skanky hardcote party girl

which i am both at times
but the real me underneath all of this?
the number of ppl who really know that side of me
i can count with my fingers

with time and maturity people will find that popularity is just a word
right now i want a break from everything

i realised last week that i dont want ppl starring at me anymore
i dont want to make heads turn
it doesn't give me the same pleasurable feeling

i only want the attention of that one special person
the only person who genuinly wishes for my true happyness
hopefully.. he will be my last romance.. =)