Yesterday was a terrible emotional roller coaster
as I found out both of my close friends got involved in a car accident
and one passed away..
when my parents and joyce and patsy told me I was so overwhelmed in shock
and was still in denail
I dont think any of them realised how much those 2 ment to me
they were the apple of my eyes
I met them at the start of their training in perth
seen them pass their solos
finally saw them graduate
which was one of the proudest days of my life!
My parents asked me to go to the channel news asia website
and there it was in black and white in front of me
that was when it hit me, and it hit me hard
I couldent hold back my tears
I just started crying
I think my dad was especially shocked
they really didnt know how close we were
and how this really did upset me
I hardly ever cry, especially not infront of my parents
but the feeling of loosing a close friend..
its just so overwhelming
I wanna thank everyone who has consoled me
and tried to make me feel better
but Im really not worried about myself at all
this is not about me, it doesnt matter how I feel
I worry about my other friend who survived..
JK, Ive been through many of your ups and downs with you
I wonder how this will affect you
I wonder how hurt you are
both physically and emotionally
its all I ever think about
I cant imagine how you must feel
I can only guess 10000000 times worst then we do
I really hope to hear from you soon
I pray everyday that you would get better soon
and I thank god so much that you are alright
Chee z, I cant believe he is gone just like that
we just spoke a few weeks ago!
we were ment to meet up in singapore!
I promised we'd go zouk out together one day!
all 3 of us!
you were a good guy, a funny guy, happy-go-lucky
and ever so carefree
I wish I paid more attention to you
I wish I was nicer to you
I wish I could tell you right now how much you meant to me!
so many things I wish..
I'll never forget the day we "met"
the first time you saw me
was when I wore a white g-string on national day
and someone pointed it out to you when I bent down. lol
way to make a first impression
and when you found me on facebook a few months later after mess night
and told me I had a nice voice
that was the first time I knew you existed
how much teasing you got from the senior guys after
you never let it get to you =)
the guys said they'd "protect" me from you
tho we all knew you were harmless
sighsss..
I know you'd want me to be happy
sometimes I think ive been quite a bitch to you
im always a bitch to many people
this made me realise so much
I will really learn to treasure those around me
i'll treat every one of them will all the love I can give
I'll stop hating, and I'll stop being the bitch that I am
life is short, life is fragile, life is unfair
I kept asking myself WHY
WHY the 2 of you!
WHY not someone eles?
somehow I know you worry about JK too,
you guys were so close
i promise once I get back in contact with him
i'll watch over him =)
to the best of my ability
i'll make sure he gets through this
he told me, tough times dont last, but tough people do!
I regret turning him down the other day when he wanted to webcam
I wont neglect him or any of my other friends
everything happens for a reason
he survived for a reason
and I hope you are in a good happy happy place now
you'll live forever in our hearts and memories.
xoxo
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