Nicole is confused

fell kinda confused and shitty right now
decided to update my blog since merv is so harworking and updates like everyday

well, today I found out some stuff and it kinda gave me mixed feelings
elections for my social club, chinese society is coming up

and then Top 4 (execs) positions are up for grabs
president, vice-president, secretary and treasurer
today ness told me that I got nominated for 3 positions
vice president, secretary and treasurer
which I was super shocked yet flattered to hear

I told people I wanted to run for secretary and that was all I was pretty much hoping for
it would make me more then happy to be the Top 4 for CS
but at the back of my head I believe i've done alot for this club and definately deserve a little more maybe

I rejected treasurer but im still pondering if I should run for vice president

my besfriend B, is the current VP and is re-running for it next year
and she pretty much told me, that she doesnt want me to run for it
apparantly she is scared that if I went up against her, she would lose and she really wants it

im torn because I really want to go for VP, or at least be able to try to
you know, given the chance to at least try since ppl actually nominated me

but I know if I do, B will probs like hate me and call me a backstabber and stuff

which is unfair because our 2 other friends J and C are gonna run for it too
and she gave them permission to run against her

but why not me?
because im bigger competiton?

some other ppl have told me that if she was such a good friend, she understand and let me go for it
friendly competition may the best person for this club win

is going for VP worth risking my friendship?
should the future of the club be a bigger priority?
here's whats on the line
friendship,
reuptation
future of the club

at the moment I think im just gonna stick with secretary, and give up VP position to her
the feeling still sucks tho, I would at least like her to give me permission to, so im given the option of rejecting or accepting
rather then feeling like im forced to.

SIGH
such is lfie